PART THE THIRD

wherein our hero plays like superman and falls off a horse
2008.12.12

I rise at the crack of 9:30, recalling viewing hints of sunrise prior to slumber. Plan is to leave the next morning, but I want to stay. Call the airline for a Tuesday flight: afternoon at 4:20, perfect. Bashful is leaving for home today, so I let him rest, instead harassing Grumpy to get a move on to meet Sleepy in the lobby to get deep stack tourney action. Grumpy has only played a few tournaments ever, most of them at my house, and so far has a good track record. Sleepy has played many and done well, but all in the lower-buyin level, so very short stacked. Not that $150 and 7500 is expensive or terribly deep, but it's world's better than what you get for $40-$60 anywhere. I had called ahead of time and the brush over-hyped it (takes a crowd to draw a crowd), making us feel if we didn't get there early we wouldn't get a seat. We arrive by 10:30 and nobody's there. No worries, it at least assures us seats on tables that break later, which is never a bad thing.

Elf needs food, badly! Grumpy wants to eat at some super expensive place, but I'm thinking The Lux is right there and looks pretty good. I tell him if I win the tourney, I'll buy him a $40 french toast. The Lux has a surprisingly wide selection of vegetarian items. You know it's good when it doesn't read, "and for our malnourished stinky hippies, we have marinara sauce." I like a tender juicy steak as much as the next omnivore, but I seek out veggie options because they're better for the heart and delicious. Last time in Vegas I stayed downtown with Grumpy, who is a vegetarian, and we wandered by quite a few restaurants with nothing but meat! meat! mmm! meat! grind it into sauce! cook it into bread! blend it into water! MEAT! Back to The Lux, service is friendly, food is excellent, and price is merely moderately rather than insanely overpriced. Compared to similar south-strip locations, it's a friggin' five-star banquet. Protein and vitamins and caffeine for the tournament, here we go!

I babble a bit about my strategy to Grumpy and Sleepy at breakfast, annoying them but helping myself psyche up and order priorities. Tournament is my best game. When learning poker, I appreciated the fixed problem of the tournament. I'm not a star or anything, but I hold my own and get better after every one. I have a good sense of when to put on the aggression. I also get lucky with cards. Me and the Lord, we have an understanding.

I take down a few of the first few hands, which is incredibly easy to do and helps establish a presence. I build up to over 11k by first break and feel pretty good. Piss break and recon with the other two, we're all holding steady, although Grumpy doesn't like his table. We go off our separate ways to center ourselves for the next rounds.

Disaster. I don't remember how it happened, if it was poor play or an unlucky hand, but I started a downswing. I overcompensated. I bluffed OOP with AJs that didn't hit. Played speculative hands far too often and too far. Lost balance. The last hand before the break, I tried a steal with AJo in EP, even more of a hit. Down to under 4k and spiraling at the break.

Focus, damnit, focus! I see the other two are low as well, so I psyche them up by saying we've still more chips than most shorter-stacked tourneys at this time, and it only takes a couple of hands to get up there. Again having successfully used them as props to get my own head on straight, I walk around a bit, swinging my arms and jumping about. Move blood to the brain, get it cranking. I walk the casino, concentrating on steady breathing and aligning my body with itself. I'm no Phil Laak, but I do what I can. At least I'm a tall skinny goofy white dude.

We're at 100 left, which is almost to that freefall when people are afraid to spend chips, yet somehow find themselves ultrashort and busted. I'm able to hold steady, win a few blinds, when tables start falling like dominoes. Being later in the rotation we get a lot of fresh chips at our table, and through steady play I bring myself back up to average. It's a short stack considering players left and blind level, which means I can turn on the mathematically proper aggression while others are erroneously thinking they have the luxury of slow play.

By now Grumpy has busted, claiming his table sucked. Sleepy was down to about 2.5k for a while before putting them in with the right hand and has built back up to 8k or so. I see our table about to break and have my chips ready to dart to my new seat, at Grumpy's old table. He's right, this is not a fun table on which to start the day. One guy is full decked wraparound mirrored sunglasses and WSOP hat. I look forward to playing a hand with him so I can give him the staredown, only to adjust my hair in his glasses and go, "Oh, I still have cards? I fold."

This speaks to my attitude, which needs some adjustment. I become very talkative, try to loosen people up, come across as carefree and dangerous. It works, but I can push it too far and become a giant flaming pile of douchebag. Like I said, I'm new at this. I get my first hand, AKs. Take it down on a flop nobody else hit either. "Gotta knife someone the first hand, otherwise they don't respect you." (See what I mean?) I'm not at this table too long before it breaks and then another. I've enough chips to lose a blindsteal and still have wiggle room, so I steal the blinds as much as I can. I'm lucky when someone pushes his 77 into my AA, and ride through to the final two tables, which are effectively the money bubble (18 pay). Sleepy has built up, too, so we're both almost assured to cash.

Can't find much, despite my desperate desire to take advantage of the money bubble. Sam Grizzle, two to my right, is getting micro-stack and wins against someone with far too weak cards to call even a shorty all-in. Sam works it for a while and builds back, at one point folding after putting in at least 2/3 of his stack when he simply didn't have it (many lack this discipline), but ultimately finishes in nineteenth place.

Money!

People really want to make the final table. A lot a lot. They don't want to take chances. I do a lot of pushing with reasonable hands (only suspect was A6o in EP, called by A5o, chop chop), and am able to triple my stack without seeing a flop ('cept that A6). Then I lose a bunch with JJ vs QQ (If I never played a hand with a Jack, I'd be okay.), but build it up again. I finally get lucky and pick up AA right after a run of pushes, and the guy tanks for an eternity before folding KQs. Damn. Then, two hands later, AA again, and another long tank, this time a medium A. It's okay, at this point two rounds of blinds and antes ain't nothin' to sneeze at, and I glide to the final table. Sleepy has finished at 15th (money!), and kindly gives me the rest of her sandwich as by now I'm a little hungry. Grumpy had brought me a sandwich of my own earlier, but I left it on a table behind me and it got snagged. I really wanted my sandwich! Bastards!

"Ten way chop is almost $2k each, guys, that's basically third place money." Nobody's biting. A lot of people are interested, but they don't know to speak up. I ask individually and almost everyone is game, except for the young Canadian with the chip lead. He says something about wanting to wait for a few players, and I can't disagree with that, but at least the idea is out there. Shorty to my left is more than happy to do it now. I let it be known that I will do an even chop at any time.

I build up and down, and I try not to make it so obvious how much my stack grows when everybody folds to my push preflop, because I don't want them doing the same thing. A couple more bust, and the shorty to my left gets a couple of good hands in a row, ultimately busting two people on one hand, propelling him to chip leader with over 400k at a time when the blinds just went up to 54k per orbit of six, most everybody sitting on 150k. Now I'm able to make my case that it makes no sense at all for us to keep playing, so how 'bout an even chop for $2600 each? That's between 2nd and 3rd money. New chip leader (same guy who wanted even when short) is all, "whoah, how 'bout equity?" and I sigh. The shorties are happy to get anything at all and my equity is more than an even chop, so I make a few feeble protests and drop it. After ten hours of play I get my payout, encourage 5% to everybody, see them throw 1% if that, and kick in about 6% of mine.

Whew! All things considered that was, y'know, pretty cool.

Head back to MGM, where I half-heartedly play some HORSE with a bunch of people from some internet poker gathering whose first question is, "What is your blog?" I dump off a rack in short order before slapping myself and building back a stack before the game breaks. After six hours of sleep in three days and the grueling 10-hour tournament, I'm ready for sleep.

Oh, crap, we're supposed to check out in the morning. Call the front desk. I'd like to extend my stay until Tuesday. "Very good, that will be..." HOW MUCH?! I can't extend the poker rate? They transfer me to VIP Marketing or some made-up title. "Sorry, sir, you have no hours of play on your card." Bullcrap. What about poker? "You need to play an average of $150 per hand." You obviously have no idea how poker works, I'll just talk to the poker room people in the morning. Which means I have to wake up early and race around the casino and then be ready to pack up and leave by 11am if need be. Poop.

Still, not a bad day. And now I owe Grumpy a $40 french toast.

... next up: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll! ...