PART THE SECOND

wherein our hero watches women dance on tables
2008.12.11

Most of the crew has been up all night, and nobody seems able or willing to rise in time to hit the Venetian, so change of plans. Luxor tournament with Bashful and Doc! We get there and holy crap. It's something like $20+12, or equally as ridiculous. Tiny starting stack, blinds exponentially increase every fifteen minutes, eleven-handed. I'm all-in with top two on KQ9 and I know it's JT before I see it. Them's the breaks. On the way out we watch a bit of a ballroom dance competition or exhibition or whatever and are enthralled. I gotta learn more tangos, that sh*t is sexy as hell.

Daytime I don't remember, which likely means smoking up, but by evening we're interested in another cheap tourney and hear Hooters has what we crave. I can't imagine who would play in Hooters, except for ball-and-chain middle aged schlumps who accept it as a sorry substitute for a strip club while "stay(ing) in Vegas". Regardless, everybody tells me how awesome the cheap poker is, and I could go for some wings, so we head in.

Smoking at the tables! What is this, 1995? Is Lollapalooza in town? Turns out the tournament list is empty, but would we like to all play against each other? One person says how it's better than losing money to some random stranger, and it takes a bit for me to convince her that the vig is losing money to a random stranger. We ultimately pass. As it turns out I think this happened the previous night anyway (but it's good filler here), so let's get to when Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy, and Doc follow me to the Hard Rock Poker Lounge!

I had heard a bit about this place, saw some carefully staged photos. Not what I hoped, but in line with expectation. It's a nice room, I'll give it that, but the loud music has headache potential. It's fancy, but not all that different from anywhere else, except the table felt signage is enough to cause seizures. I had Papa Roach staring me down for an hour. At least it's 9-handed. The place is empty, only three tables going, so no sitting in the fancy area next to Billy Bob. The players are mostly very friendly. My first table has a guy telling stories of games he's played with the big names. They're all long-time buds. I look under the table to pick up a few names that he let spill over the rail. And yet, he still doesn't know how to protect his hand.

There's a glorious adaptation of the Mississippi Straddle in effect. Button has first option for it, then UTG. Action up to two raises is completed around the board before the straddle acts. About half of each table is taking the button straddle. Gotta say, I'm a fan.

I finally get my table change to the one with all the laaddiieess on it, cuz chicks suck at poker, amirite? More than that, women tend to get the goofy dudes relaxed and drunk, and I dig that. I also dig that Hard Rock gives out higher shelf to the poker room. At least it's not the well. A player suckers me into trying one of the many multi-layered shots she's ordering, and I go along to help the mood. They called it a Surfer, and I drink enough to make the glass look empty in the holder. No idea what's in it, but it has a hint of licorice. Tasty! Save the rest for later.

Turns out two of the women are out-of-towners (the accents were the first clue) just holding tight while the boys hit the tables, so not much going on, and I can't catch anything huge. I build up okay, and after a while there's some turnover to a lot of local casino employees, and they all seem to know the staff. The play is decent, but rather loose. A lot of moves being made, so high variance if you want to dance. I hold tight and built up a modest profit that I dump into a mild profit on the last orbit. Oh well, at least on the way out I catch a glimpse of some cute young thangs all dolled up in leather 'n stuff writhing around against poles in the middle of the gaming pit. The dudes at the tables? Watching their games. Or sports.

I believe everybody did well enough here, or at least didn't lose much. Sleepy is mostly a FL player and is just getting started in NL, so far so good. Grumpy has stabilized and is grinding out some profit. Don't call it a comeback.

... next up: Venetian Deep Stack, baby! ...